HoG Blog

In 836 a new phrase entered the general lexicon- owing to the response of a Duke’s call to arms: “NO_TEXT_FOR_KEY_ACTOR_WARS”

Highlights:

0:15 The great smallpox plague of 832
2:45 Yet another excommunication war
6:30 Dijon claim
9:00 The wife of the Bulgarian Khan has a Santa hat
11:30 War declared for Ulm
21:00 Battlepope spookin’ around in Belgium
25:45 Tirol inherits into my dynasty
27:00 Ulm GET
31:00 Another pope dead, long live another peope
33:00 YAEW (Yet Another Excommunication War)
35:00 Pink spawn (Aquitaine)
38:15 Wardec on Aquitaine
39:00 What do you say? “NO_TEXT_FOR_KEY_ACTOR_WARS”
40:00 Another pope bites the dust
42:30 Prince-bishop builds a temple
47:00 Provence GET
1:07:00 Claim on Lucca

You child of mangy dog! Featuring a new nickname: Duke Paldo II II ‘the Lord of Ivrea’ of Ivrea, Duke of Ivrea

Highlights:

5:00 Day 1 wardecs for Tirol and Kepten
6:45 Now known as the Lord of Ivrea (silly titles)
10:00 Oberbayern OPM with their 5000 troops
11:15 5th Lombard Cathar revolt
15:00 Usurped for my vassal
17:15 Minimal city taxes
20:00 Antipope ends
24:15 Another vassal usurpation
31:00 Costello died aged 11 of pneumonia
33:30 Costello’s dynasty tree makes for some scary reading
34:30 “You child of mangy dog…”
37:30 Unable to excommunicate child
39:30 Plotting an invasion for later…
42:45 Cathar uprising under some troops
45:00 Let’s find out about poison
48:00 A male heir who is both Strong and Quick 😀
57:00 60 people arrive in Costello’s court
54:00 My daughter died in mysterious circumstances

In which I marry Costello’s mother…

Highlights

0:00 Another African holy war on our realm
5:00 Supported papal election modifier
6:45 Waldensian uprising starts (mark the year)
16:00 Cathar uprising
23:30 Wife too old, you say…
27:15 “…and that’s how I met your mother”
35:00 Costello gets blackmailed
44:15 Costello takes a good portion of Austria
53:00 Planning next moves

Starting out with Costello declaring a revolt against his liege duke

Highlights:

2:45 Costello declares a revolt against his Duke
4:00 1-2-3-4 I declare a holy war
6:00 Son dies… but in a good way
16:00 SIster wants to be councillor
16:45 Duke of Savoy captured (continuing tradition of war leaders being captured)
20:00 Welcome to the Duke club, Costello!
22:15 Holy war won
29:00 Succession for Costello (regency)
34:30 Independent ?????? ???????
36:15 Declaring for a claim on Zagreb
39:00 Discovered in my plot!
40:00 “Event spawned troops WHY?!”
44:00 BertieB laments that he isn’t Welsh (in-game)
47:00 Son “died under suspicious circumstance”, grrrrr
49:00 Casus invalid…
52:30 Dismissing unused mercs :'(

Some internal struggles, and Benevento pops out as an independent Cathar realm.

Highlights

1:30 Sending mercs off to die, pointlessly
3:30 A second son is born (curse you, gavelkind)
7:30 Camp fever!
9:15 War for Piombino!
15:00 11000 Cathar event-spawned troops
17:30 The war for Venice ended (white peace)
18:30 Cathar Benevento popped out
20:00 New war for Venice!
25:30 New King, Desiratus ‘the Accursed’ (surely a good omen)
32:00 Benevento takes on the Pope
35:00 Call the banners!
38:00 Defending Rome
51:15 Smashing an Austrian stack (Costello gets maimed)
55:15 King accepts peace before random can be had

Beginning of the reign of Duke Paldo II II of Ivrea!

Highlights

2:30 Appointed Marshal
7:00 The Veronan war with Venice grumbles on
16:00 Ivrean Holy War for Savoy!
18:30 New heir!
24:00 Jewish councillor techpoints event
27:45 County of Krain declares on the Kingdom of Lombardy
28:45 Savoy GET
38:30 “The more the merrier!”
42:30 Krain invasion over

In which Costello tries really hard to invent boats so that he can invade the recently-sacked Venice. Lots happens in the first few minutes

Highlights

0:00 Starting with a 3-way death split
0:15 Mark my words: “You’ll at least get Venice, right?”
2:45 Oh wait, there’s no strait to Venice… and we have no boats
5:00 Plot to kill Costello’s brother
30:00 The rare lesser-spotted independent Catholic realms in Umayyad…
59:15 Cathar uprising spawns under African troop stack
1:08:45 Arican Holy War for Benevento has ended after over a decade: White Peace
1:17:00 Steward brings justice to a county
1:19:00 Duke Paldo I is dead, long live DUke Paldo II II

Trying to push back Umayyad and African forces from southern Italy

Highlights

8:15 Khan Krum the Kruel
11:00 Yes, I’ll stop my plot… no I won’t
19:00 Accidental disbanding of an army
22:00 North Italy to the rescue!
24:00 “How much is that Duchy in the window?”
44:30 Costello’s second son is an imbecile
47:45 A double Cathar stack
53:30 Instant morale reset
1:01:30 Costello gets a claim on Venice

(to be continued…)

The beginning of the embiggening, in which BertieB usurps a duchy (from Guntrud)

Highlight:

1:30 War were declared
6:20 Count Paldo is now known as Duke Paldo… the Usurper
12:45 Holy war were declared
20:00 Commander was slain!
23:30 Granted the Duchy fo Pisa for no real reason
27:30 Costello perished (again)